Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite: The Game is, in a word, irrelevant. Hardcore fans of the movie won’t find much content here that hasn’t been recycled from the film (and in less funny fashion, at that), and the gameplay isn’t anywhere near fun enough to hold anyone’s attention for long.

The games occasionally break out of the realm of pure mobile-phone-download mediocrity, but these attempts tend to be aggressively unpleasant as opposed to merely boring. The few bouts where Napoleon takes on the role of a Rex-kwan-do master, fighting a lot of hapless ninjas and such, are so bereft of coherency that all you need to do is mash random buttons and most likely you’ll end up a winner without even realizing it–though “winner” in this case is definitely relative. Then there are the occasional awful sports games, like the hopelessly dull tetherball game and the world’s most awkward dodgeball game not to feature Stephen Root in bondage gear. Dodgeball is especially bad. You’re partnered up with your best pal, Pedro, but you can control only one player at a time, and the CPU player is terrible at dodging enemy attacks. The good news is that you can use the same dashing jump attack and hit an opponent square in the face 19 out of 20 times.

Dodgeball is hardly the only game to suffer from problems like these. The PSP version of Napoleon Dynamite offers about 30 minigames, and the DS version includes around 25. Out of these, maybe two or three are enjoyable. That’s not exactly a great ratio. It’s worth noting that the PSP and DS versions of the game offer essentially identical minigames, though the mechanics tend to differ slightly based on each system’s control mechanics. However, the differences are slight, and the problems are almost always the same across the board.

The game tries to tie all these minigames in to a storyline, which involves Napoleon’s grandmother’s beloved llama, Tina, escaping her pen, Napoleon’s uncle Rico and brother Kip going into business selling anti-aging vitamins, and Pedro’s sister having her quinceanera. A bunch of memorable gags and lines from the film are brought into the proceedings, but none of it works, largely because there’s barely any audio in the game. Seeing a text bubble of Napoleon saying “Gosh!” or, really, any of Pedro’s deadpan dialogue is roughly one-eighth as funny as hearing the actors say the lines out loud.

download:

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Napoleon_Dynamite.part1.rar

Napoleon_Dynamite.part2.rar

Napoleon_Dynamite.part3.rar

Napoleon_Dynamite.part4.rar

Napoleon_Dynamite.part5.rar

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